Late-Night Personalities Lampoon Trump's Controversial 'Gold Card' Visa Program
Late-night's top comedians used the airtime criticizing ex-President Donald Trump's just unveiled visa program, called the "golden visa," characterizing it as a obvious cash-for-residency scheme for the affluent.
Stephen Colbert's Witty Analysis
Kicking off his program, Stephen Colbert presented a satirical Christmas song directed at the president. "He is making a list, reviewing it twice, and then giving that list to the people at ICE," he crooned. "Trump ... spoils everything he handles."
The focus was the controversial program that enables international citizens to buy U.S. residency for the price of a million dollars, or "premium" tier for five million. An official page guarantees processing "in record time."
"A quick message for you to wealthy immigrants: prior to you pony up, maybe think about Canada?" Colbert joked.
He noted that the card is also intended to "get cash" from firms looking to hire skilled workers, with hefty costs. "That's a lot of fees, but if you sign up, you also get a complimentary stay at a hotel of your selection – provided that it's the Tampa Marriott Bonvoy," he continued.
"The best screening the government has ever done," said Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "a $15,000 vetting to ensure these applicants absolutely meet the standard to be in America."
"That's important, you have to prove you're suitable to be an American," Colbert responded. "The initial query: how many burgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"
Jimmy Kimmel's Blistering Roast
On his late-night show, Jimmy Kimmel dubbed the initiative the "American Dream Express Card."
"It's a card that will permit rich foreigners to live here," he stated. "In exchange for a million dollars, you get official resident status, you get a pathway to citizenship, and a presidential pardon for one major crime of your choice."
"It might be time to update that poem on the Statue of Liberty – forget about your poor masses. Hand over a million bucks, you're in!" he joked.
Kimmel teased the lack of detail of the form, observing it is "harder to start a Wordle account." He remarked that Trump "sees citizenship is something you can sell, like a condo."
"That's right, the top people are the rich people," Kimmel joked. "That's what Jesus constantly said! Read it in the Bible. He says it's simpler for a camel to go through the eye of a needle if you give the needle a million dollars."
Seth Meyers covering Economic Issues
Elsewhere, Seth Meyers focused on Trump's slipping poll ratings during economic anxiety. "Voters gave Donald Trump a another term since they were mad about the economy," he explained.
Recently, in a bid to tackle affordability, Trump conducted a briefing in front of a array of grocery items, where he reacted peculiarly to boxes of cereal.
"What a nice job, I think I'm going to take a few of them with me to my home and have a lot of fun," Trump said. "Like the Cheerios, I haven't seen Cheerios in a while."
"He's so extremely weird," Meyers reacted. "What do you mean, you're going to take them back to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What's the plan with those Cheerios?"
Meyers finished by mocking right-leaning media defenses of Trump's financial record. "Maybe instead of voicing concerns, you should give him a sparkling trophy similar to the one FIFA did," he remarked.